For over 17 years, I’ve personally had the opportunity to witness thousands of people achieve various levels of success in their lives and business. Yes! I’ve seen it with my very own eyes…
Amazing people fighting with every breath in their bodies to achieve one goal that seemed absolutely impossible and out of reach for most of their lives. And when they finally achieve the impossible, it’s extraordinary!
But there’s one thing that I’ve continually seen destroy their new found success and result in broken dreams time and time again…
But that definition is actually way too kind for these dream stealing thugs that crush the hopes of the good people that trust them. Just the thought of it makes me super angry!
Because I’ve walked along side these good…scratch that…amazing people as they traveled their success journey that is often filled with grueling detours and obstacles.
I’ve felt the frustration, wiped the tears, and held their hands as they’ve made the most difficult decisions of their lives and risked everything to achieve their ultimate goal…their Why in life.
After they fight through the struggles and start reaping the rewards of their sacrifice (and commitment), along comes the manipulator that takes it all way in one fell swoop. Unfortunately, those amazing people rarely recover from such destruction.
So, who are the victims of manipulators? EVERYONE!
How can you protect yourself?
Well, there’s no foolproof plan, but I want to share some of my experience with these dreadful people to hopefully save you a lot of time, frustration, and loss.
Plus breaking down the word MANIPULATOR will help you remember their traits so you can avoid falling into their web of deceit…
M – Malicious: A manipulator’s motive starts and ends with malice, which is a desire to inflict suffering on another person, either because of a hostile impulse or out of deep-seated meanness.
Now, I know this sounds exaggerated, but ruining someone’s life is not an exaggeration, and that’s exactly what a manipulator does to anyone in their path. This trait might not be noticeable, but is often exposed at some point.
A – Ambitious: Being go-getter is a trait that we all look for in a business partner, team member, colleague, or even a friend. We are motivated by their drive to succeed and inspired by their desire to achieve their goals.
There’s a fine line between an ambitious go-getter and a fast-talking hustler, but the biggest distinction is that a hustler is always looking out for #1…and that’s not you! Manipulators are ambitious hustlers that will stop at nothing to get what they want even if it means destroying you.
N – Nice: One of the things that victims of manipulators often say is “I can’t believe they did that…They were so nice!” A nice person makes you comfortable and feel appreciated so you open yourself (and your heart) up to them.
You would never believe in a million years that they would intentionally hurt you especially when you consider them a friend, confident, or treat them like family. Behind the mask of niceness is a truly ruthless individual.
I – Intentional: Manipulators are intentional with every word that they say and every action that they take with the end goal of destroying the life and/or business that you’ve worked so hard to build.
Their level of intentionality is driven by their need to get what they want no matter who it costs you. You must be just as intentional when it comes to getting manipulators out of your life.
P – Passive Aggressive: This is one of the worst traits, because you know that the manipulator is doing something underhanded but you just can’t put your finger on it. A passive aggressive manipulator avoids confrontation, but often sabotages you by procrastinating on big projects, making intentional mistakes, complaining to others, talking behind your back, or just being irresponsible.
They also try to play dumb or naïve when they know exactly what’s going on. I’ve even seen them break down and cry when they are on the verge of being exposed. Pathetic!
U – Ungrateful: No matter how much you do for them, it’s never enough. In the beginning, they may be able to hide this trait, but as time ticks by, the slithering snake comes out of its hole.
The manipulator stops saying “thank you” and being appreciative of your generosity plus they never offer to return the favor. Manipulators are takers and will not stop taking from you until you stop them!
L – Lying: This is a big one, because a manipulator consistently lies to keep their plan of destruction intact. What has always really shook me is how these people can so easily look you square in the eye and lie to your face. Most of us simply can’t do that. However, manipulators do it with ease, because they lack integrity and morals.
A – Attention: Manipulators crave attention and often do things that land them smack dab in the middle of the crowd so all eyes are on them. However, when they feel like they are exposing a little too much, they pull back and fade into the background like a wallflower. But don’t worry, their ego won’t allow them to remain there too long.
T – Trust: Manipulators will gain your trust and make you think that they care about you. They often take on the roles of people that we value most in our lives and businesses. In the beginning, they exceed your expectations and even put your needs before their own.
You trust them unconditionally and never question their agenda. That’s why it’s like a dagger to the heart when their scheme is revealed, and the fact that they never truly cared about you is realized.
O – Odd: While parts of their lives are an open book, you will notice that manipulators demonstrate some really odd behaviors when you look a little deeper. One of the oddest that I’ve personally seen is secrecy about things in their lives that most of us would consider mundane. What’s the big deal, right?
Well, they only show you what they want you to see, because they know if they reveal too much, then you will see that they are! Look for those odd behaviors that activate your gut instinct and…always listen to your gut!
R – Revenge: Last but not least, when you unmask the manipulator and get ready for them to take vengeance on you. They will try to blame you for everything despite you being the victim of their manipulation.
Stand your ground and don’t allow their bullying to discourage you from doing the right thing. Plus once their mask is removed, everyone will see the truth.
Now, let me issue a disclaimer here…
Not everyone that displays the above-mentioned character traits are manipulators. These traits speak to the totality of the person.
Consider them warning signs that alert you to the fact that you may be falling prey to an attack of a viscous manipulator.
Your goals and dreams are too important to allow a manipulator to destroy them. You must commit to never give up and be willing to courageously fight for your next level in your life and business.
We believe in you 1,000%!
Christie Di Lemme
P.S. Remember, the #1 way to avoid manipulators is to surround yourself with a Mastermind Team that has your back and will make you aware of anyone that could harm you or your business.
Building a Mastermind Team is key to your success. That’s why John and I created the 17K Inner Circle Champion Mastermind Club…
Give us a Call/Text at (561) 847-3467 or Email John@GiantGoals.com to discover how you can join this community of Champions and NEVER have to be concerned about manipulators again. Your dreams and goals are worth it!